...with my head in the clouds...

2007-08-06T22:36:00.000+02:00

I'm still so damn bored, not even having a crush on someone makes me happy and I didnt find my meds back. I'm lost.

[Drawing: Tribute to Darrin Hover, Oil on canvas]

vacations

2007-08-04T17:23:00.000+02:00

Nobody won, *******!

2007-04-08T20:07:00.000+02:00

Anyway, happy easter to all of you.

I had breakfast with my sister, then sitting in the sun with the funny part of my family, then a nice country concert til it got too cold for shirts, what more can I ask for? Aaah, I got socks with orange flavour (not kidding)!!

And for the moment, I'm just happy to be back home, having a coffee and some cigarettes and wearing a warm hoodie. Plans for tonight: watching tv (if there should be anything of interest) and staring at my new guitar (maybe even play one or two chords) >click<

I got a cold since thursday coz around 23:00h I walked through the whole town just to see somebody, walking back again to another village and back again just to find out that bars are not open at 1 o'clock.

At least gas stations do. I bet the dogs both slept very well because I came home at 03:45h (and I couldnt feel my legs that night), completely broke coz nice as I am I spent my last money paying her cab (the money wasn't enought to take me home).

Again Joh, happy belated birthday!!

World's Next Top Dog

2007-04-04T12:24:00.000+02:00

He changes from a sea cow to stitch and back to a dingo, I wish I could.

Taken on April 3rd in the morning when it still was sunny and warm. I wonder If he gets a tan.

[More: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8]

~ My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am ~

Merry belated X-mas, happy belated new year etc

2007-04-01T20:51:00.000+02:00

Hi everybody,

I fell from the clouds for a couple minutes cos I just thought today while having a phonetalk I'd really like to update again. It's not that I've much to tell but from the end of october to april is a long time.

Soooo... I dunno really what was the last thing of interest I wrote so I'll just give a quick overview. I'm still at the pharmacy and probably will stay there for the next 2,5 years (besides for some months or weeks I'll work at a retailer for medical products anytime). I don't think it's really a job that fits my wrecked personality but its alright. The money's ok and with most people I get along very well. So, here comes the private-life-part: I'm not with C. anymore, first I broke up, then we got back together 3 weeks later and I think another 3 weeks later she broke up. I guess I don't care, for now I think it was a stupid idea even to try and I dont know anymore why I did what I did to please her or just why I wanted to be with her. Anyway.

I usually have a hard time to even find somebody I might be interested in, these days I feel like having a crush constantly with different people all of a sudden.

I'm not in the band anymore, they got an album coming out next week. It's pretty good in my view (eventhough I'm not on it). But me and U. the singer are starting an acoustic thing with a friend of him on base. Or maybe I'll change the acoustic thing as I'm getting my Telecaster tomorrow.

If you're bored and drunk propose me a bandname.

I'll try to update this more than every 6 months, good nite,

[Photo: My everdays lunch in my fave bar / my shelter from work]

I'm A Dirtbag.

2006-10-29T10:59:00.000+01:00

I know that, believe me. I won't try to excuse, just to explain. Since my paremts reinstalled the living room I don't have a connection at home. And it seems like I'm slowly getting a social life.

So, what have I done the last 2 months? I changed my job. I work at a pharmacy now & my wage is twice as high as before. It's alright, my co-workers are nice but I still gotta get used to regular shifts somehow. What else? I play in a band again, its kinda funk I used to like it a lot til 2 weeks ago we got two new members I feel like playing against me (So that might fall apart..).
I got a girlfriend again for 8 weeks now but look at the brackets above.
Is it stupid I'm writing that on her computer while she's out getting cigarettes?

Anyway, I dont know what else to write, I wanna take a shower and go home. The house needs a clean-up (parents are gone again but dont tell her that) and J. from my old work will drob by for a coffee at 16:00h.

... hell, did I change the clock..?!

Hi from work

2006-09-09T08:16:00.000+02:00

Someone asked for updates. I think about updating almost every day, but I'm just not home. And if I was home, I couldnt use the pc.

This is saturday, 08:00h, me at work after a great but stressy week and its just not over yet, it will take til sunday morning. This will kill me seriously.

I'm too tired to write anything smart or clever right now, I just realised the milk in my coffee is not that liquid anymore.. Ahm anyway I think I'm gonna do something handwritten again coz I really cant think straight at the moment. So if I find a scanner somewhere you'll have your update today or tomorrow.

I'm off to kill my co-worker who seems to be in bed still. Or at a bar probably.

On The Air

2006-08-10T13:06:00.000+02:00

I think it's time for an update, eventough there are plenty things I dont really wanna write about from "let's paint some walls" to now.
Actually right now my life feels like a daily soap, like a mix of emergency room, CSI and the Simpsons, with a dash of the L-Word, Spongebob and Oliver's twist (you know, the cook..) combined with Home Alone and the Muppets.

If that was broadcasted it would be produced by endemol and television ratings would hit the bottom.

Anything not clear?

I don't sleep much these days, the main reason can be seen in the picture. They're not mine, they're my sister's pigs because she's on vacation and let them at my place (without really asking of course). They're somewhat gay and annoying. Actually I should get along with them. Well, I just don't.

What People Do When They're Bored

2006-07-30T16:21:00.000+02:00

Some sleep, some watch tv, some stare at the wall all day
long. I do all of that these days. Plus drawing comics. And
painting walls. Walls that are not my own and I don't have any permission for. Whatever.

It felt so empty in view

I hope it wont rain today

The result: Olives!
Lord knows why..

Sundowns & Grasshoppers

2006-07-17T22:10:00.000+02:00

I dont wanna write about my work situation coz I know shit about that. But today was pretty nice. After school, J. picked me up, actually for a BBQ but as nobody of us was hungry we bought a huge watermelon (my stomach still hurts). Drove up to her place & then looking through single-meeting adds (did I mention she posted one for me..?). So there's (of course) a guy who seems to be really cute. We sent him a message coz his add was sth like "looking for a girl bla bla" but no hint wether he was male or female. He's 31, so I'd say thats too old for me. Anyway we exchanged some pix and he asked me if he could convince me to go for guys again, right after trying to couple me with a girl he knew (too old again). I said there's no chance but I'll have dinner with him soon lol (I'm not kidding for once). J. tries very hard to find someone for me, I'll be crushed when she leaves for spain soon coz lately she's been the only person in my reach I could rely on.
Anyway, I dont remember what we did the whole day, its 22:15 now and she picked me up at 14:00h. I really cant recall anything but eating, talking, tv and catching grasshopper for those weird nameless animals. Oh hell and she likes Tegan & Sara :)
Reminds me on that: for mel to get jealous ;)
I think I'll move to the countryside, they have such nice sundowns... But whatever, I'm hungry again and Crossing Jordan is on,
see you around,
L.

Random Stuff

2006-07-10T09:53:00.000+02:00

So, I've been at A's place yesterday (and of course B. was there too coz I think she probably moved in and hasn't seen her own flat for months). I dunno why I went there, it's not that close and I dont like driving there with scooter anyway, but it seems like that's the only chance to see her. She still has her car. She's just too lazy for anything. Last year she went out every day, now she just spends time with B. on the couch. Thats alright if you're in love I guess, but like only the first 2 months maybe. I'm not sure for how long they're together now but it must be more than 6 months. Thats not normal in my view. Maybe I should be happy for them (or at least for A.) but I'm not. She looks bad, she has white skin. Really white, whiter than mine and I'm still pretty white. She has rings under her eyes, her hair is not colored anymore, when I got there she opened the door just wearing a shirt and boxers (it was 15:00h), so did B. and they basically looked like out of bed. I stayed til 23:00h, we played scrabble and watched the WC final. It was nice, we laughed a lot but in the end I still got back home with that certain feeling of distance. I hate not knowing whats going on in her life. I hate not really being part of her life anymore and I miss the times when it was different.

So I'm concentrating on other people. Like today. Today turned out pretty nice when I got a message by J. saying "I'm so bored, rescue me".
After driving along the countryside again, we ended up catching grasshoppers for her funny animals and I dont have a clue how they're spelled (see picture).

Animal day. I dislike cats, but the one at J's place I love (I forget her name again though).
I dont dislike cats just for fun, I dislike them coz they mostly dont like me. But not this one. Must have been my sweaty smell.

Aw yeah, I'm still at the same work cause I didnt get a strip-down for once, doesnt mean its all good though.

Humm I dunno what to write, I apologize for my absence on several chats / messengers, I just dont like the way the computer is posed. You know, with my back to the door and everyone coming in can see whats on screen, I hate that.

Some More

2006-07-05T20:33:00.000+02:00

* Sorry, scanner's weird

Handwritten

2006-07-02T15:21:00.000+02:00

Click to enlarge, it't ok-quality

Fairplay

2006-06-26T11:40:00.000+02:00

So, Holland failed. It's a mess, they deserved to win, really. All the teams I liked are already out. I even liked Portugal, but not anymore after that game. I'll put my orange shirt back in the closet.

One of my fave pix relating to the World Cup (showing some english hooligans)

What else? I'm having a day off today and dont know what to do. Therefor I finished the drawing yesterday night (1, 2).

Sundowns

2006-06-24T21:11:00.000+02:00

Just some pictures I took some days ago, somewhere along the countryside. I don't remember where exactely, me and J. got lost. But I like those pictures, eventhough I took them out of the driving car (and god knows J. drives like hell)

[20/06/06]

I'm busy with drawing at the moment. It's a friends birthday next week and she asked me to draw the character of "the robot and the sparrow" by Jake Parker since she has seen it in my book. So I finished a larger version of what she saw and will start another one (which will look like this). I already run short on pens though.

2006-06-18T18:12:00.000+02:00

My vacation is over and it's been a long time since I'm sad about that. This week was nice, I somehow managed to find someone to go out with me every evening, some people I graduated with and the usual guys I was used to go out.
Basically everything happend around the soccer wc, eventhough I'm not really a soccer freak I had fun watching it at several bars with (mostly) nice people (the only disappointing game was the one I looked most forward to, netherlands vs. ivory coast, the game itself, and the dutchies in the audience. First of all most of them spoke clear german all the time and then they seem to have no emotion at all). At least I had fun afterwards walking through the city with my orange shirt over my shoulders and asking people for the way.
Anyway, great feeling every night watching all those fans running around. And good weather of course.
But as you know, no entry without anything negative. My parents are mad again just because I didnt join my step aunt's birthdayparty. I had better things to do and by the way: Why would I join a party with people I cant stand or dont even really know? Just coz they're relatives? For those who remember, my step aunt is the one who once asked me "where's is your partner?" since my sister and everyone else had someone, and I said she was at home (oooow yesss, that look!!). I prefered rehearsals, going out, playing "Buzz" on playstation and watching the (very very boring, weak and unfair) soccer game italy - usa.
School tomorrow and on tuesday is my first day at work again. Scares the sh** out of me if I'm honest cause I'll prolly get to know if I can stay or not.
Anyway, that's it for my short update of "where the hell has she been".

From March To May

2006-06-11T14:48:00.000+02:00

Hey there,

I figured there some photos I never posted, so here they are.

[Click To Enlarge]

2006-06-03T20:55:00.000+02:00

There again. Everytime I think I'm on a good way to lead a normal life, something comes in between. Mostly myself. I'm about losing my job and most of the people around me I tend to call friends have less time for me than ever before and I dont have a clue for the reasons. At least I know the reason for the job situation. I made some mistakes in the past 2 months with some office stuff and nobody realized it until wednesday and thursday. That mistakes continued with the following work I did, basically every letter or number I typed during the last 4 months are nothing but pure waste. This is something I can do better in the future of course but obviously some people are not content about how I’m acting on people. It’s not that I’m unfriendly or something alike, I just don’t know everything that people wanna know from me. I always had problems with stepping up to somebody I don’t know, has always been like that and I don’t think you can really learn that. To a certain point, yes, I got better but it seems like its not enough.
On Friday I got a dressing down by my boss and it really hit me but I gotta say she still always stayed fair and there was no yelling or anything, she just gave me a very bad conscience because she has to fix everything and she gets the wigging. I don’t remember much she said to me, what I remember is that she said that the other guys have the same age and they can handle it, so why can’t I. That if I really wanna work there with a contract next year she has to see a huge increase of my work. And that I should make up my mind for the next two weeks if I can stand the pressure and improve myself or wether I should think about another job.
Actually I planned to go out with my co-workers this night (including my boss) but I think that wouldn’t be a good idea. Enough of that shit now, I don’t really have a choice anyway so maybe I should write about something else here too.

Let’s see… I did brownies today and my mum and dad said they taste great. And they’re right. I should work at the bakery maybe.Theres this movie I’m watching right now, I don’t have a know how its called but I saw it two years ago loved it right away. Its about two american girls who end up in a jail in thailand coz of drug smuggling. I think the leading part is played by Claire Danes but I’m not sure if its her. Ow I just found out its “Brokedown Palace”. It IS Claire Danes and the other girl I thought was very cute is Kate Beckinsale (I should know her, I watched “Underworld” just because of her). Anyway, if you can get your hands on that movie, watch it and ignore the bad critics, if I remember well it has a surprisng ending (which isn't to often in my view).

2006-05-26T22:03:00.000+02:00

Today work was short but intense. Which I regret cause it's pretty much all I have at the moment. If I don't work, I'm at home watching tv, I draw or write boring stuff. Cause nothing works out somehow. Whenever I feel like going out, the people I ask dont feel so, or they say they would but then refuse before anything could take place. If you know someone for 8 years and this person has maybe 30 minutes a week for you, eventhoug they work less than ever before, what the hell are you suposed to think? This is just one example. I wanna feel like I did one year before. I wasn't at my best, but I sometimes had a life. I do love my work but when your life is just about that something's wrong. Life should be about your sparetime in my view. But what do I know.
So, I draw a lot. And according to my drawings I ...

a) ... need a relationship

b) ... need a friend

c) ... need a hug

d) ... need sex

e) ... am insane

f) ... need a new pen

g) ... need my anti-depressiva

What do you think?

Anouncement

2006-05-25T16:14:00.000+02:00

I changed the adress of this blog (and when you can read this you already know that)
;)

Images Of The Day ...

2006-05-22T15:49:00.000+02:00

... & lazyness in perfection

Jamaika style meets..

... canadian style

Feeling Every Bone

2006-05-12T19:12:00.000+02:00

Obviously I survived this week and it was hell. My wrists are fucked but I expected that. All the events went well, the VIPs were content and my boss was too. Im death tired coz I started every day at 06:45h and worked til at least 19:00h, mostly without any break.
Anyway, at the end of our shifts all the guys from the eventmanagement section sat down in the kitchen. And we started drinking and smoking in there, it was hillarious as its not allowed at all and u cant lock the the door, so we were always scared somebody who shouldnt see this could enter.
Right now I'm waiting for my pizza calzone (coz I deserve it!!) and I'll do absolutely nothing today but watching tv and lie on my bed. Where the hell is my pizza, it was supposed to be here 10 minutes ago...

So actually just wanted to say I'm back and that you might catch me online somewhere or in real life too (yes, I have one again).

*Edit*
There it is!! (was..)

boat trip

2006-05-08T18:46:00.000+02:00

My scooter will be done on wednesday. Sucks coz I'd really would have needed it tomorrow. Gah!
Had a nice "day off" today, went to the doctor, then to my school to "show" I'm ill (got taped everywhere), then met a friend with who I headed to a tradeshow / fair and after that we went to to the lake and got her a job at the beergarden I used to work. Ow, and we went sailing, was pretty nice.

So tomorrow my very stressy week will start and btw I guess I wont be online til friday because i wont have much time and my dad is leaving for a couple days and I bet he'll take the notebook with him.

Summer, finally?

2006-05-07T13:38:00.000+02:00

I guess the summer is finally here. At least I hope so, eventhough it makes me feel weird sitting in the sun at 20:00h. I bought a tan creme a few days ago which seems to be stupid as for now its hot and sunny. But I can sit in the sun for 15 minutes, I'll get a sunburn and a sunstroke but I dont get a tan.

Next week is going to be hell. I'll work from 07:30h to 21:00 (or longer), from tuesday to friday. And both my wrists aren't much better. That's why I decided not to go to school tomorrow, therefor I'll go see the doc and ask for some tapes I can wear at work (of course my parents mustn't know about that). Still have to write my school a mail, something like "I'll join a bit later, I gotta see the doctor" and then I'll show up anytime showing a piece of paper which says I'm ill for monday *muaha*. No really, I can hardly type or raise a cup of coffee with both hands (and I shouldnt do that anyway I guess).

Some ass slit my scooters tyre, damn this son of a bitch. I hope it will be fixed on monday coz I need it for work.

You Know ...

2006-05-03T19:18:00.000+02:00

I dont mind anyone to comment (thats a hint!)
Not much to tell, besides work was stressy and I got somewhat smashed by my boss (but I gotta say she had her reasons and always stayed fair) several times, always followed by an apology ("See, I'm coming from the hotel / bar / pub sector...).
And it's amazing how many people actually take or took anti depressiva. Anyway, pictures: Took them yesterday after work

when I went to the mall I was looking for a parking lot for my scooter. Those are the two which were right next to mine. Yes ladies and gentlemen, the first one is fur! Faked leppard fur, I'm loving it. I guess it was (is?) a Yamaha or either a Peugeot Speedfight. The amazing thing: This scooter is always clean.
The second one's nothing special really, but I like that italian Vespa style (it's not a Piaggio, I dunno what it its supposed to be).
Alright, my dad needs the laptop again and I gotta take my medicine (got an "enourmous & dangerous lack or iron" as the my doc said). Maybe til laters, I'm on lateshift tomorrow.

Winter In Lomo

2006-04-29T20:35:00.000+02:00

I like my Lomo

Strange enough

2006-04-29T18:07:00.000+02:00

It didn't end up in a completely disaster, the birthday was even kinda fun, nobody got hurt (besides me). Well my wrist is completely damaged (as the doctor said) and I gotta wear this weird thing for a couple weeks. Seems pretty long to me. It sucks coz I cant move anything and I dont know how to work with that..

Anyway, our "concert" went well though we practiced the very first time 20 minutes before we played at the bar. the practice took place in the same bar but another room ("that's cool, rehearsal premiere and 20 unknown people around us.." "Yeah I just thought the same... Wow, your guitar is dusty.").

Unfortunately we just had one sheet with the chords and lyrics, my cousin forgot her glasses and I was half blind anyway from doing excel calculations all day long at work, it was hilarious.

Lot of old people of course, one of them talkin to me all night long and calling me Christine and my cousin my mum. Drunk people everywhere, young and old ones.. Well it was alright for a 80th birthday party.

Click for my fave pic of that night

I feel like shit today (eventhough I didnt drink much) and I intend to go to my aunts place this evening with my cousin coz she's leaving tomorrow again and she can only visit us once a year, so I gonna sleep a bit now. Good Night.

Nervous Breakdown!!

2006-04-27T22:03:00.000+02:00

Now I have this nice new header and I havent anything, thats not how it should be, right?

I think yesterday was the very first day when I really really started hating my work and wondering why the hell I do this without beeing payed by them. I've been on my own for the last couple hours, althout I started at 10:00h I managed to have a 11 hour shift without any break. Because I didnt have time for taking a break. And because my boss told me 2 people from work said I'd take too many smoke breaks, lets call them Ms. G. and Ms. T.
Ms. T. never takes any breaks, that means she doesnt leave her office, my office is at a different floor so I hardly see her. Ms. G. never leaves the 3rd floor, everytime I go up there for any reason shes NOT in her office, shes at the stairway, smoking. I mean everytime. I take my smokebreaks in another building she never gets in.
So I wonder how the hell they could see me. And even if they'd see me everytime, I take what I'm allowed too. Fuck it. Actually thats not what I wanted to write about. Actually I forgot what it was. Aw yeah... the point is I was alone, I didnt eat anything, no break, working til 22:00h and getting a tendosynovitis again on both hands. I was just wondering why my boss left me alone with all that, maybe she just forgot how much it was?! First time I was pissed of her. Passed very soon though. But I had a couple breakdowns that night cos I couldnt see how to manage everything. Anyway, I survived, I got my hand taped and tomorrow I gotta play at my grandmas birthday. That one will end in a family fight because of my sister. More about that on saturday maybe.

2006-04-23T16:51:00.000+02:00

Thanks to the wonderful Mel
(Please forget my password)

This one's for you mel
*click*

For once

2006-04-22T15:31:00.000+02:00

I had an unexpected nice day yesterday. First there was my cousin's birthdayparty. She moved a few weeks ago coz of her divorce and I hadnt seen her new flat until that day. Pretty one I gotta say, very cozy and warm. And again, like in her old house, she installed a music room with guitars, keyboards and piano. I was basically the first one to arrive, after a while some friends of her came and I had a funny jam session with Biene on piano, me on guitar, her husband beatboxing and Kicki (5) and Bombo (2), the two kids from greece dancing around. Having discussions about Bombo beeing gay coz he always kisses guys and causing his mother "a sleepless night" as she said. It was nice seeing all of them again. Of course some negative stuff came up too, my grandparents complained subconsiously I dont show up that often anymore. What should I say, "excuse me, I'm having a job that takes a lot of time and lately I'm glad if I just survive going to the grocery without getting serious panic attacks. And ow, when was the last time you came over?". Common. My grandma burnt the table yesterday by the way, was fun.
I left at 20:30h to go for a drink with A. and B., which was fun too, especially at the end when I tried to hit on A. to make B. jealous. Think I didnt succeed though. It was short (I was back at 22:30h) but I had a good time and it has really been awhile.
I dont know what about today, I guess not much..

[Photo: Marina di Castagneto / Donoratico , Italy // April 2006]

Salamander

2006-04-22T15:01:00.000+02:00

I felt like screwing my guitar a few days ago, I came up with a salamander coz I've been somewhat uninspired..
The salamander itself was done with stencils made of tape and colored with spraycan, the slimey stuff around is is done with brush and scratched with uhm... toothpicks actually.

Skyshots

2006-04-21T14:23:00.000+02:00

Simple, but I love them. And I love my mobile. And the fact I saw the sun that day. Dammit, my skin's still white like aspirin!!

This is my favourite

All taken 18/04/06, around 13:30h

.: Next time :.

Salamander white on black

The Student

2006-04-21T14:17:00.000+02:00

Here we go, watch my poor sketches (I wish I could say its just a bad photo)

More pictures here and here

16 - 17/04/06

I'm still around

2006-04-20T15:22:00.000+02:00

I just had no notebook for the last couple days and I avoid using the other computer for some reason. Unfortunately I dont really have much time at the moment, I might post something longer here later (if I should find something interesting to share).
I've been kinda creative (more or less) and I got some pictures which are low quality, so I have to edit some of them a bit (unless you prefer watching black boxes with some dirt in it).
There's one sketch I did, as I didnt have the laptop I couldnt use the scanner so I had to photograph it with my mobile. So, all I can show at the moment is a part of the process, which is the inked version in bad quality.

If I'd give my sketches names this one would be "The Poor Student" or something alike...

Finally..

2006-04-04T22:03:00.000+02:00

..the day came on which I disliked work for the very first time. I say "dislike", not "hate". Just because I kinda played facility manager for everyone, I had to buy bulps and batteries and get food for the others. I dont mind doing that. but I really had better stuff to do like that. So I had another 12 hour shift and actually didnt do much of work. Tomorrow I'm on late shift, I dont mind working long, but I hate starting with work later for some reason.

I still dont know what song I could play at my grandma's birthday (or if I even will play something). In april there are always so much birthdays. At least 2 birthdays every week, and I never know what to give. Especially for the next week. What can you get for someone you know for maybe 2 months and you dont even know in what relation you are to her or him? I guess I'll try to buy something together with my co-workers or something..

Lack Of Inspiration

2006-04-03T17:02:00.000+02:00

Common guys, no serious suggestion for a song? Tss! Well maybe any suggestions with invitation cards? I'm stuck here getting bored.

[_Edit_]
I'm done with the cards, I dont care if it fits or not, just glad it's over lol

[Click To Enlarge]

Question

2006-04-02T15:09:00.000+02:00

I'm waiting again for that day to pass or my parents to leave the house to get my freedom... anyway, soon its my grandma's 80th birthday and I need a song I could play there. Any suggestions? Please.

Thank you

Yes, I'm done already. Don't have much to say. Besides the weather drives me nuts.

A game...

2006-04-01T16:36:00.001+02:00

...to pass time, coz as you might know I hate weekend.

[Stolen from murmel, who stole it from Joh]

Rules: Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle.
Say the following questions aloud, and press play.Use the song titles that come
up to answer each question. NO CHEATING.

Note: As I'm hardly listening to music on my pc I'll just put my MP3 player on shuffle.

How does the world see me?
River to the moon - Woodface

Will I have a happy life?
Good Morning Hope - Woodface

What do people really think of me?
For What It's Worth - The Cardigans

Do people secretly lust after me?
Tell Her This - Del Amitri

How can I make myself happy?
Stop Thinking - Anouk

What should I do with my life?
Onder Aan De Dijk - Thè Lau

Will I ever have children?
Paradise In Me - K's Choice

What is some good advice for me?
Enjoy The Silence - Tori Amos

What do I think my current theme song is?
One Month - Tegan & Sara

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Are You Ready To Sing - Woodface

What song will play at my funeral?
I'm Sorry - Monta

What type of men/women do you like?
These Are Your Friends - Adem

What is my day going to be like?
Too Long - Anouk

Why am I here?
Good Life - Francis Dunnery

What will people remember me for?
Tired - K's Choice

What song will I get stuck in my head tomorrow?
Shadowman - K's Choice

Are there people outside waiting to take me away?
What You Want - John Butler Trio

What will this year be all about?
Almost Happy - K's Choice

So, shortcut:
People dont know if efforts for me are worth it, I should stop thinking to get happier (I guess thats true), I should move to a dijk in the Netherlands, I'll have children and feel fine, I should enjoy silence, there will be some people being sorry when I die, my day is going to be too long, but I am here to have a good life, people remember me being tired of everything and this year I'll be almost happy.

I guess there actually is some truth in here, for some things I hope so.

[Picture: Graffiti, taken on 27/03/06]

2006-03-28T22:00:00.000+02:00

A better day than yesterday, not a good one, but better. Though a lot at work went wrong (not all my fault). When I arrived at 07:20h I realized the kitchen was flooded by our great new dishwasher. Hopefully it'll work tomorrow again coz I'll be own my own once again and I know shit about what to do without dishwasher and with wet feet.
I fucked up placing an order, I got 15 burger instead of 6, I dunno what I was thinking. I'm gonna pay it, eventhou B. said she would do it. But well, it was me who fucked it up, so I'm gonna fix it, and she already did more for me than she's supposed to. Its gonna be.. *counts* ..18,90 € (Yeah, those are BIG burgers). Too bad I cant even afford a single bus ticket right now.

I wanted to check my scooter coz it's getting a bit warmer and its cheaper than the bus (and faster, more comfortable, ...) but I'm so tired lately that I dont do much after work. Well yeah, not much happening here besides work stories...

March 27th: Bad day.

2006-03-27T15:41:00.001+02:00

I officially declare today to my personal "pretending, lying, runaway" - day. Whoever might speak to me today, dont believe a fucking word I say, it's probably not true. Because I prefer runnin away instead of facing.

I'm going back now, running circles in my room, smoking like a chimney and waiting for that day to pass.

Work stories

2006-03-24T20:15:00.000+01:00

A hard week is over, for once I'm glad for the weekend. I've huge problems with my back, I think I'll go see a doc and ask him to prescript me some massages (as long as I'm still insurancend with my parents).

We got a new dishwasher and some new rags at work, the guys who installed it left the kitchen all messed up, it took me, C. and B. 3 hours to get it back in shape again (and we're still not done). The thing with the new dishwasher is: It cleans the dishes within 2 minutes (the old one took 1,5 hours), but when it comes out its all wet, so you need to dry everything first. Usually machines like this do that on their own, this one doesnt seem to be able to do so. Or we just did anything wrong, I dont know. I worked on my own mostly today again because due to some communication problems B. had to drive to another city to get out kitchen equipment back, it took the whole day so I spent time with writing lists, bills etc.

I never knew there's lemonjuice in bags. Me and B. had to go shopping for catering and that was what we needed. Plus a lot of different types of sugar. What for? Some british general minister or whatever he is arrives on monday. I'd love to be there, not only coz I know it'll be a lot of stress and B. cant expect help from anyone for that day. But I've school.

Yesterday Linda, my old boss from the beergarden, called me and asked if I wanted to work again this summer. I'm not quite sure, I'm scared it will be too much with work, but I guess I'm gonna do it at least for sundays and maybe saturdays. But it was cool she thought of me.

Contrasts

2006-03-21T21:25:00.000+01:00

It's somehow amazing how the weather has impact on people's mood. When I compare yesterday's faces I've seen while walking through the city centre with today's faces you can recognize such a big difference, all just because the sun was shining the day before and today it was all covered again. Anyway.

I worked on my own today again, I probably got a tendosynovitis on both wrist now from carrying beverage bins but it still like what I'm doing. I just like getting home and knowing what you've done, for what is was for and that it made sense. It's for the same reason I liked beeing a waitress. You're bad payed, you worked your ass off, clothes are soaked with sweat and the smell of drinks and food, you execrate the customers for thinking they're the onlyone to be served and not giving tips, but you know without you beeing there it wouldnt have worked out like it did.
I got my timetable for the service center today, I've bad shifts honestly but whatever. It wouldnt be that bad if the internet-nerds could manage to repair my pc account, I could at least use the computer at the center then. But as long as they're not able to do so, my job is to "look nice, be friendly, act like knowing everything". At least it's just a few hours a day.

[Photo by Jim Hayes / www.JimHayes.com]

Sun!

2006-03-19T21:48:00.000+01:00

Today I woke up, the sun was shining and it was even kinda "warm" outside. Was very cool, I enjoyed my coffee in the backyard. After that, I got creative, got interrupted by my dad who was trying to get into a conversation with me with letting me drive the car. So I drove through the city, unfortunately I forgot to take a good CD, but it was cool.

[Picture: Acryl colors and marker]

Wtf I'm doing here

2006-03-18T21:43:00.000+01:00

I shouldnt be here at the moment. I should be at a bar with mx co-workers, smoking shisha and having fun. I'm sick instead. I hate it, I hate it even more because this could have been the last time with this constellation. But I watched "Joes Appartment" which has always been one of my faves and I was told some hours ago I have good chances to start my apprenticeship this fall.

For those who dont know yet: I managed to install msn messenger again on the laptop (its another account as I cant remember my old password, so you can erase the old one actually). Somethings wrong with this notebook though, I tried a hundred times to connect but finally it works. And the clock shows 16:20h here, wtf. Also, I wanted to install my webcam, unfortunately the software is not saved here anymore and I couldnt find it in the basement. I guess I'll go looking again.

Nothing new these days, besides this week wasnt as nice as the others but I still like getting up for work and people who know me wouldnt believe if I tell. Like I cant believe myself that I'm doing this for 2 months already and that I dislike weekends coz I just dont know what to do.

Somethings ashaming: I found out on friday a good friend of mine is in Australia. Since 4 months or even more. I was wondering why she never called back...

Just some photos

2006-03-17T17:15:00.001+01:00

From my walk home, coz I missed the bus...

Just some photos

2006-03-17T17:15:00.000+01:00

From my walk home, coz I missed the bus...

Me & the wire

2006-03-13T15:52:00.000+01:00

I realised today that I'm actually walking on the wire when it comes to my job or apprenticeship. Because a) I'm stupid and b) I was desperate and c) I was so euphoric to get that job. But I'm gonna take care of that tomorrow and ignore things like I dont have anything on black on white. Just coz its a nice day, its cold but the sun is shining, due to a doctor's appointment I was free after 13:00h and tonight there's a big dinner with the whole family coz it's my mum's birthday. Plus the part of the family I can't stand won't be there.

[Picture 1: Jean Paul Statue / Picture 2: A bridge with my cup of coffee on it, all taken today on my way to the doc]

Spam

2006-03-11T17:37:00.000+01:00

I hate spam mails (like everyone probably), and lately I'm getting alot of that. One minute ago I got this one, and I'm glad I did, my life would have been so grey without it:

Update

2006-03-11T13:23:00.000+01:00

I havent talked to my dad for more than 2 weeks now. Just one sentence, 3 days ago (He: "Do you eat that?" Me: "Nah"). And I dont care much about it. The onlything that sucks is that I dont wanna ask him "can I use the notebook" or something like that. But today he obvioiusly forgot to hide it / cut the connection. Or he's just tired of ignoring.

For once there's something new in my life, and even a positive thing. I got a job finally. I was told about that on tuesday already but I had no safety until yesterday when I talked to the manager. Well, I'm not employed yet, I'm still doing a practical course and its possible that it will stay like that until september 2007, but these days you can be glad if you only have something in sight. And I'm very glad, eventhough I do understand now people getting huge doubts before marriage (I really dont need another broken apprenticeship, I'm fucking 20) and I already feel huge pressure coz they've big expectations from me. But this is my last chance anyway.

After talking to the manager he gave me 50 Euro "for my hard work". I mean, thats pretty nice, especially coz I knew then that he realized I was hard working. (He could have given me more though, this is my 5th week!! ;) )

Some negative things (of course, as always, but I try to ignore them) came along with the job. One is that J. will get fired coz of me and she doesnt know yet. She still has another job but I'm sorry for her, she worked well and I like her.
If everything goes as planned, I'll be supported by another work agency for september '06 til september '07, I'm still getting the same money but the dont pay for costs of transport (which is about 50 to 60 euro / month in my case). More work, less money.
And the worst thing: My current boss B. will maybe quit her job for a better one she always dreamt of. She has an appointment on wednesday. I'm happy for her, she always told me since I know her that she'd love to work there and it would be exactely what she wants. But I dont want her to leave, she's the reason why I got the job and she taught me everything right from the start. Still I'll wish her good luck for wednesday, but I'm also egoistic and hope she'll stay.

[Photo: 10/03/06, on my way back home]

Just for a minute

2006-03-09T20:43:00.000+01:00

I'm not dead, I'm just very busy and I hardly can access the internet at the moment. But I'm happy these days. Most of the time at least.
Thanks for your attention,
L.

2006-03-04T17:12:00.000+01:00

I was told he said he wouldn't help me anymore. Fine, I don't care. But he's cutting everything I do and keeps me from acting. Fuck him.

In reference to my last post

2006-02-27T15:02:00.000+01:00

Exactely that "I don't give a fuck anymore"-thing happened today as I didnt go to the course. My dad called me labile piece of shit yesterday night (that sounds more worse in english actually), and he knows he can call me "bitch" or whatever, but the most hurting is something about my mental condition. All that because I said I might take the day off tomorrow (what he didn't know is that I wanted to do that in order to find a new practical course). He said why I'd be that stupid etc., I said "those are mine fucking vacation-permissions and I can use them whenever I want". Obviously that was too much for him, so he said what he said. I said "I might", thats not "I will". Even after all that crap I was sure I'd visit the course again. Now the problem was I forgot that my parents dont have to work today and tomorrow (not like me). Usually my mom wakes me up coz she has to get up anyway and an alarm clock can't really wake me up most of the time. I woke up at 10:15h or something coz my phone was ringing. But you know, when I sleep, I sleep, and a bomb could crash in right next to me. I'd realize it for sure, I just wouldnt give fuck. Same with phone. I already knew it was my socialworker anyway. I just saw she wrote me an email saying I'm getting kicked. And I hate saying it but I faked my medical certifcate again. I had one from the 21st I never handed in, so I turned it to the 27th (because it was in another city so that would explain why I couldnt call). Isnt that exactely what I wrote before? It's scary. Im glad tomorrow is tuesday, though it means friday is coming close.

[Sketch: drawn on a bill of "Trcky Business", 27/02/06, Coffeemaker, ca. 12:30h. I should stop with that, some people might feel offended when they're drawn by strangers... ]

Losing Track

2006-02-26T16:55:00.000+01:00

Have you ever loved something so much you'd do everything to keep it, wrecking yourself, sacrifice all your power and sparetime, leaving more important things out because they don't seem to be important to you at the time? Sticking with all that eventhough you know you've lost, developing a "fuck-yourself" mood to anything else, knowing you'll regret it in 1 week but still doing it coz you just don't know what else to do?
It's this "too good to be true"-thing, the "why it doesn't work out for once?"-thought, a "it was just this close"-depression or whatever.

[Photo: March 2000, somewhere around Avignon / France I think]

$!

2006-02-24T17:10:00.000+01:00

Simon the sleepwalker won't get the job. But it doesn't matter anymore, coz I don't get it either. At least not this year. Maybe next year. Or if somebody gets fired maybe. The personalmanager assured me she'd call me if that should happen. At least I know it's not my fault, I was doing well. It's all about the money. Why it didn't work out: I'm doing that course I worked my ass off to get in, im payed by the working agency for that. I'd have a job right now if I was in another course, which is also sponsored by the working agency (same money). I can't change courses, coz if I leave, im out, the working agency wont support me in any way (not that they ever did). As the other course is part of the same working agency it means I cant get in there. If I'd stay in my course now (all in one 9 months), I cant switch either, coz they pay only 9 months, and that only once. Silly.

The aim of all that courses is that young people get an apprenticeship. But in my case, this course is the reason why I dont get the job I want. I still have one week left there, I don't wanna know how I'll feel next friday coz I know that I'm still not realizing another broken dream. Probably that'll happen on my last day at work. Reminds me I need to bake some muffins for that.

Quote of the day:

"Real success is finding your lifework in the work that you love"

I found it and still it doesn't really matter

[Photo: Ruegen, Germany / 199?]

* Edit *

I bought a book today, "Tricky Business" by Dave Berry. Its one of the most funniest books I've ever read, he has a amazing style of writing. I can highly recommend all of his books, but "Tricky Business" is on top.

One-Day-Supervisor

2006-02-22T22:17:00.000+01:00

I ran the whole catering stuff by myself today. My boss had to see the dentist and left at 08:30h. I worked a lot, I just dont know if I've done everything (anything?) right. Guess I'll find out tomorrow.
What I found out today was that the other guy who's doing a practical course is the son of my neighbours daughter. My mum goes to gym every wednesday with our neighbour, and she told me he said he's pretty sure he'd get a job there. Fuck him, does he think just coz he has a general key he's better than me? It's his second week I believe, I doubt they decide after sucha short time. And I dont think his work is better than mine, eventhough he got the "honour" to be the onlyone on lateshift today. If that sleepy dork should get a job and I dont I'm gonna jump off somewhere, I promise. Ok, that might sound mean now, I dont really know that guy, I never talked to him, but he walks through the house like he just got up everytime I see him. I've been workin there for 4 weeks now and they still cant tell me if I get a job. I hope he's lying, really.

[Picture: Neubuerg, Germany / January 06 © BD]

Drink Better Coffee

2006-02-20T21:19:00.000+01:00

I went where I wanted to be when writing my previous post right after the course :)

Yesh, my fave place from time to time. I even got a free table (which is amazing seen as I went there at 15:45h coz usually its crowded with business people).

Its been awhile since I've been there. I mean I drob by often and purchase a coffee to go,, but the last time I actually stayed there was december or november. Just sitting there and watching people.

Now take a look at my perfect latte macchiato:

And always remember:

Caught Up

2006-02-20T11:45:00.000+01:00

Again, as every monday, I'm caught in this damn course spending hours online without really doing anything. Well, I wrote 3 applications though.

This is where I wanna be:

and this is where I am:

Vanitas

2006-02-19T18:55:00.000+01:00

Just wanted to show that pic, its taken with the camera my dad gave me. Its a fish, somewhere in turkey if I'm not wrong. He took it almost 30 years ago. I was always amazed by that picture (not just because I still cant believe this is not a camel but a fish).

Well yeah, just wanted to share.

2006-02-18T18:51:00.000+01:00

Inspired by a song trapped in my head. Originally I wanted to draw it with acrylic colors til I saw I just dont have enough green color for that. And it had to be green, coz thats what it looks like in my head. It still differs very much from the result, still I like it somehow.

Through A Lense

2006-02-17T18:55:00.000+01:00

This is my new baby: a Porst Compact Reflex SP, comes with some equipment like a 58mm Skylight (and a 66 or something?), some filter and converter, tele etc. Can't wait to try it out.

Work has been alright today, short but intense I'd say. Not much catering, therefor loads of paper work. We had to go shopping, thats always fun, eventhough today we only got a Opel Corsa to get napkins, cookies,, coffee, coffeemilk, sugar and several brushes & tissues. We stopped at Mc Donald's (and we were glad that at least the one in the industrial area still had a smoker area. She payed again for me, I start to feel guilty lol.

Well yeah, otherwise theres nothing to tell, I live for work at the moment and I'm already scared not knowing how I'll feel when there comes the time I have to leave.

I think my english sucks at the moment, doesnt it...

Quotes

2006-02-16T21:35:00.000+01:00

B.: I'd like to keep L.

C.: Yeah, I understand. I guess she'd be down with that, right?

L.: Sure.

B.: Ha! If it was only my decision..

L.: Wait.. "Keep me".. Like a pet?

B.: Yeah, a pet who's doing my work!

Nah, nobody has to understand...

;)

14 hours

2006-02-14T19:43:00.000+01:00

Nice to be back at my old work. Eventhough this week gets heavy. Tomorrow we'll have more than 210 people (in a room in which fit only 90 people by the way). Its some election stuff, the current mayor will be there, and of course the other ones who wanna be the new mayor. Very official, very political. Luckily I went shopping last week and got some more "elegant" clothes.

Nice day today though, so was yesterday nite. Went out with A. and a. for a drink, and today after work I went shopping with my boss B., after that for a drink with J., I hadnt seen her for couple months. Tomorrow scares me a bit coz I'll have a 14 hours day. And I feel bad for B. coz she'll have a 16 hours day, from 08:00h to 24:00h. This is insane, why dont they employ me for real? Do they think its people like B., who works a lot more than she would have to, without getting payed right, can be found like clouds in the sky? 2 serviceworkers for more than 200 people? Its ridiculous, really.

*Ironical Edit*

Happy Valentines Day everyone

Creative Living

2006-02-13T15:41:00.000+01:00

Here are my sketches:

Kitchen (actually in real life everythings thats green is blue) and the living room (the couch is blue too for real, but I don't have blue pens somehow)

Better quality pix

And because my mum said it would look like those pictures in "House & Garden":

Hating Mondays

2006-02-13T11:31:00.000+01:00

Another boring day in front of the computer. But this time I dont have to stay there til 15:15h. I'll leave at 12:00h. Thanks to my faked doctor's appointment.
Actually I wanted to meet up with A. then, but it seems like she has other plans. I called J. but she's busy with work. And honestly, I wouldnt know who else I could call to go for a coffee or whatever, everyone is at work. I'll have to spend a couple hours in the shopping mall I guess. Anyway, it's way better than wasting my time here in this job-centre thing and make up my mind about oilprices.

Alright, 20 minutes to go, I'm gonna spend it with chatting and uhm... yeah, chatting.

Next time on WithMyHeadInTheClouds: (If I'm able to access the scanner / computer)

- sketches of my kitchen

- sketches of my living room

[Now dont ask me why, I was very bored yesterday night]

2006-02-12T15:34:00.000+01:00

Again I'm abducted into a world without media. Only my DVD player, but I realized yesterday I'm through with the first L Word season and I only have 2 DVD's at the moment. So I'm spending time watching "10 Years of K's Choice" again and again.

Feel free to send me some DVD's, but dont come looking for me.

Frenchkissing

2006-02-11T15:36:00.000+01:00

For Joh:

Got your postcard this morning, thank you :)

"Fuck!" "Who..?"

2006-02-10T14:31:00.000+01:00

Friday! Finally! This week sucked (sucks?) big time. Started workin at a doctor's place on tuesday, annoyed me from the very first minute coz it was always the same procedure and all the needed me for was cleaning up and get lunch. Most of the girls were nice though. One especially, N.

Wednesday I was told I have bad chances to get the job I wanted, which kinda destroyed everything I've been working for since January. Positive thing was that I kinda felt emotions. Even if it was anger, it felt good not to feel only just desepration and fear. I went to my room, locked the door, turned on some acoustic music very loud, sat on my couch and started crying, smoked like a chimney and picked up the guitar later on. Then I wondered when I cried for the last time and enjoyed my anger and sadness (I know this is weird).

Thursday : bored at work after cleaning the kitchen a second time that day, spent almost 2 hours walking around in the city (I don tmind that, but we've snow chaos here, the streets are iced, half-melted dirty snow on the pavement, windy, stormy cold..), just coz my boss wanted coffee beans for espresso. Would you believe it was nowhere to get? Cappuccino, vanilla coffee and all that stuff, but no beans for espresso. After I was done with working I went checking the bus plans and realized I missed my bus and the next one would arrive in 45 minutes. A very loud "fuck!!" slipped out of my mouth. Someone behind me said "who?". Turned around, realizing it was N. who left work a bit earlier than usual. (I wont mention what I thought in that moment.) I explained the whole bus thing to her and she suggested to to get a coffee at the bar on the other side of the street. So we went there, ordering (very huge) latte macchiato. She said she wouldnt know what to do at home anyway. We talked about friends and family, smalltalk stuff I'd say, but it was pretty cool. At some point I asked if she had a boyfriend, she looked down and said "Yes", then looked at me and said "I'm sorry". Now that was confusing. I said something like "ahm what? Was just a question, you know, out of curiousity". I think she knew it wasn't. But hey, I tried.

Glad I can go back to my other job next week. Today I intend to go out but I'm not sure if that will happen. And I guess I'm gonna help B. tomorrow with a 90 person catering, in the evening I might visit J. and O. coz they're having a party... Many plans, no motivation still.

Whatever, all in all I feel better. Not well, but better, and I'm happy about it.

[Picture: oil crayons, 06/02/06]

Swedish Myths

2006-02-02T22:23:00.000+01:00

I'm too tired to color it (and I cant find the software here right now). I'm sorry for the bad quality, still have to find out how this scanner actually really works.

Swedish Myths Process

2006-01-30T16:40:00.000+01:00

Here are the promised low quality shots on which you cant see a thing. By the way, I finally got a latte macchiato to go, now I'm sick and feel dehydrated. Gonna go back drawing now...

[Click on thumbnail to enlarge picture]

Get me out

2006-01-30T09:48:00.000+01:00

I'm currently stucked in school (but obviously, in front of a computer). I'm thinkin bout pretending to have an appointment but I'm not too sure about that.

Yesterday has been my uncle's birthday, was alright, I left after 1 hour anyway (a. was so kind to pick me up and then we had a coffee at my place).

Before gettin ready for the birthday, I started drawing a comic. I might post some bad quality photos here later on when I'm back home and have time. It's still a shitload of work, it's badly drawn and prolly not even funny, but I love it. Working title: "Swedish Myths", 2 pages, inked and I'm not sure yet about the mass of color.

I'm bored here, somebody entertain me please..!

==== E d i t ====
I'm still here. And what is worse: I had no coffee until now. And I wont get any before I get outta here I guess, means 15:15h. I wonder if I'll survive.
Just been told that the graphic agency I applied for offers me a practical course. It's the same agency I once asked for test working, and they said no. What's the point? I've been waiting for a reply 2 months, hell!
I need to go shoppin urgently and get some christmas presents lol.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Random Info:
For those who dont know, "monday" means sitting in front of the computer from 08:45h to 15:15h and surfing the net. Some may think thats cool, but after a few hours you just dont have anything to visit or check anymore. And its not that people are online around this time. Or updating their blog or journal. Besides the ones who have the same "mondays" as me.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

[... now the "teacher" starts explaining mathematics but nobody's paying attention anyway. But it's kinda disturbing me while blogging.. Where's my Mp3 player..?!]

I'm trying to pass time right now, so dont wonder.

Tomorrow I'm gonna do a business trip with B., usually only employees are allowed to join her, so she printed me cards saying something like "Catering facility assistant" lol. Luckily I'm gonna be away the whole day then. "Luckily" simply coz I turn 20 tomorrow and I'm not in the mood for celebrating, I dont even want presents. At least nothing I want can be payed with money anyway. I know what I'll get from my sister and her boyfriend though: a visit at the piercing studio and a bit of pain lol.

== Edit #2 ==

Those weird things on the wall are called "Flutschies" if I remember well.
See the blue one?
Where it has its left foot is my office.
Everytime I'm there (but I'm rarely at the office on busy days) and look out of the window, I see a massive big blue toe.

== Edit #3 ==
I just tried to make a coffee in the kitchen but it tasted like shit (and even looked like shit). I still have 30 mins to go, I guess I'll head to the coffee shop to get what I need and then prolly H&M, need something more business-like to wear for tomorrow.

7 days

2006-01-28T13:58:00.000+01:00

...without blogging anything. Guess thats my new record. I'm not really in the mood for that somehow, though I had a lot to tell. Might be lazyness or lack of time. Anyway, here's a shortcut:

Catering / eventmanagement job started on thursday, I'm diggin it eventhough its a shitload of stress. Plus I've changes to work there on a regular base if I do my best and extend my practical course.
One of my backteeth broke out yesterday night (partly).
Spent the night with watching a big part of the first episode of "the L word", I love it!!

Actually I dont feel like writing anything again, thats why I'm gonna stop for now lol

Hair!

2006-01-21T17:14:00.000+01:00

Colored my hair and wanted to show the color-difference but *lol*

*muaha*

Back

2006-01-20T21:51:00.000+01:00

Without tv and internet connection I got so damn bored I started drawing tattoos on people I've never heard of...

...and starting building cigarette boxes.

For the non-smokers:

Weekend!

Gone til whenever

2006-01-18T20:35:00.000+01:00

I've been abducted into a world without internet and tv & I dunno for how long. Don't come looking for me (only if you bring a portable tv)

See you soon,
L.

[Edit: Thank You Mel, hope my dad will be long enough away tomorrow so I can download it *hugs]

Soaked

2006-01-15T20:13:00.000+01:00

Does anyone remember those old cartoon movies in which the characters turn of the waterhose and its flying through the air like crazy?
Exactely that's what happened to me as I tried to wash my hair. I should go now and clean the bathroom and get some dry clothes.

~ Clever Meals ~

2006-01-13T22:38:00.000+01:00

I've just been painting (til a phonecall disturbed me *lol*). Inspired by Tegan & Sara and Andy Warhol probably.

Added some blue colors afterwards

[more pictures]

[...more...]

[another one]

And now, do I have to clean my room?!

Me & Macintosh

2006-01-13T15:09:00.000+01:00

Actually I really like my practical course now. On wednesday they put me into the graphic area. I was given the software and the user guide. "Did you ever work with Adobe Photoshop?" "Uhm not that much". "Did you ever work with Mac?" "Nopes." Well, I had a lot of time to crawl through the users guide (which has btw 388 pages), and I think now I can finally say I know about the basics of photoshop. Big advantage when you wanna do something with graphic design.

Stuff I did:

This one is from the tutorial, you have to insert the sky and cut off the rest to make it look "real"

And this one was the cup from the first picture, copied and filtered. I really needed a coffee when I did that...

Here you can see how it looks like when I'm having a coffee at work. The kitchen is always that dirty but today I managed for the very first time to find a clean mug. And yes, thats a knife in my coffee. Couldnt find a clean spoon...

Pics from yesterday night, I was walking through the city centre.

[City Church, gothic I'd say.. actually I'm sure.]

Anything else? I'm addicted to Tegan and Sara lately, my ass hurts from sitting all the time at work and we got a new coffee maker which makes the brown soup taste better than before. Hmmm I think I'll get another one right now, its weekend right? Ow yes, today I worked with Adobe Illustrator for the first time. It might be useful for newspapers and magazines but I dont feel its very useful to graphics. Whatever, I cant tell, I'm not an expert for that ;)

Otherwise, the questions I'm asked the most for the past few days strangerwise is "do you have a boyfriend"...

Paper Everywhere

2006-01-10T18:36:00.000+01:00

I'm back from my first day at the printfactory.

The good things:
- I can walk there
- Very nice co-workers
- Coffee
- Smokebreaks

The bad things:
- Very loud
- No chance to sit for some minutes
- Bad air
- Nothing to do

It's alright, and my co-workers are really really nice (even good looking), I guess the boss had a bad day today, but anyway. He said I'll be 2 days in the printer area and then somewhere else, I guess thats the design area then. Fits me more, I saw they hare chairs there... No really, beeing on your legs from 08:00h to 17:00h and then afterwards walking home for 20 minutes up the hill is not nice. Especially not with that cold weather.

I'm very tired and not really well, I hope this day will be over soon.

-

2006-01-09T18:22:00.000+01:00

I got another practical course: Catering! It's not really what I wanna do but it might be fun. Well, it has to be fun. Coz I'll have to do that for 4 or 5 Weeks. And my boss is somewhat cute.

But first, printshop tomorrow and for the next 13 days. From 08:00h to 17:00h. Luckily I can walk there and dont need to take the bus.

Color Spots

2006-01-08T19:23:00.000+01:00

I think I screwed my shoes on wednesday in art classes. Dammit, have them only for 5 weeks... Will try one last time to get the white color off of my beloved K-Swiss...

Snapshots & Writing

2006-01-07T20:01:00.000+01:00

Obviously this one was also taken on new years eve. It's in front of our house. I like that one a lot, just because with a bit of fantasy it looks like a flashing fire at a white beach with a dark blue sky and the bright moon in the background. Well, maybe it's just the leaves on the right. (If you think you've seen this already: You're wrong, it's a bit different)

For K., just because I was bored and decided to go on practicing with calligraphie.

And as you can see, I really need to practice a little more. But not that bad for the beginning I guess.

Photos

2006-01-06T15:19:00.000+01:00

[All taken on new years eve]

F. U.

2006-01-05T14:41:00.000+01:00

If anyoe should wonder why I'm not online that much: My dad is freaking out again about me using the laptop.
I took a day off for today (just because I can, we got 3 free days to use whenever we feel like), and he keeps beating me down with stuff like "move your ass, your not doing anything, get a job, ...". Fuckit, I'm not well since october, I'm not feeling better when he insults me and it's fucking HIS fault I'm unwell all the time. Do I blame him for that? No, never said a single word. He doesn't even know its his fault, he'll find out at the 27th of january at the latest. I'm not expecting him to apologize for ruining at least 9 years of my life so far, I just want him to know.
This doesnt make sense for anyone but for me, I'm aware of that. Just had to put that out. Thank you very much.
L.

Lay Her In Art Classes

2006-01-04T16:43:00.000+01:00

Today I had art classes from 07:45h to 15:15h and actually it was somewhat boring as I finished my painting already at 12:00h. This is it:

Great, hu? Alright, I was not really motivated. During a smoke break I discovered some old pieces of wood. Made me laugh.

Hell yes, but who?!

So, before my dad starts yelling again coz I'm having the computer, i better quit.

... hello 2006

2006-01-03T16:00:00.000+01:00

My new years eve was calm, lets say it that way. But it was nice, I enjoyed the firework and for the first time when my mum wished me "all the best" for 2006 I felt she was serious.

As my parents are decorating my sister's old room, I decided to use my new acrylic colors finally. The needed a picture with natural colors anway coz the they picked a brown wallpaper for that room. I call it the coffee room. And this is what i drew (yes u can see I'm not used to acrylic colors...)

And speaking of "coffee": On monday I rejected my loved Van Houten Chocolate Coffee at school, I wanted to pick something new instead and got stucked at the "Vanilla Coffee" button. Let me tell you something: It might smell like vanilla coffee, but it doesnt taste like vanilla coffee. I'd describe it like "hot brown water with the smell of vanilla". I'll never try that again.

Goodbye 2005 ...

2005-12-31T16:22:00.000+01:00

... you weren't that bad actually, but also not that good. I tend to mix up dates anyway so it would be very unsafe to make a list of what I've done this year. But at least for a few things I'm sure they happened 2005:
I broke with my apprenticeship as language correspondent, had a few weeks off then (or months even), then started something like a "getting a job finally" course (and I'm still stuck in that), started working at a beergarden for increasing my pocket money, i dropped walking the old lady's fat dog finally after 4 years, I remember last new years eve I spent with my parents and had a very cool and funny webcam session (I'd like to do the same for today but I'm forced to go to a "party"). What else? I got kicked out from home, fell in love once, met 2 amazing people, broke up (not in that order), established the relationship to my parents and my sister, I got my driver licence, ahm... I'm leaving out the very negative stuff. For once.

This year's resolutions:
Find a job I like
Live
Beeing more positive
Smoke less
Drink less coffee
Stop making lists

If i'd do a top five of several things, it would be like this:

Top 5 Albums (disregarding date of release)

1. Woodface - Good Morning Hope
2. Tegan & Sara - This Business Of Art (still need to check out the other ones)
3. Damian Rice - O
4. K's Choice - Almost Happy (will always be in the top 5)
5. Ani Difranco - Little Plastic Castle

Top 5 Books
1. Dan Brown - The DaVinci Code
2. Dan Brown - Angels & Demons
3. Nick Hornby - About A Boy
4. Terry Pratchett - Time Thief
5. Joscha Sauer - Nicht Lustig 3 / Nichweihnachten

I don't know what else to chart honestly, I didnt see any movies that really impressed me... ow wait:

Top 5 TV series

1. Scrubs
2. Crossing Jordan
3. Desperate Houswives
4. Six Feet Under
5. Gilmore Girls (In fact I hate it but somehow it's always on when I'm bored)

Now I really run out of ideas... Maybe next year

So anyway, gotta get dressed for dinner, wish you all a good start for 2006,
L.

Great Invention!

2005-12-29T14:12:00.000+01:00

This one here is an amazing great invention:

It allows me to make coffee before I walk the dog (who keeps making a fool out of me pretending he needed to get out), and I just tried. It's not gone cold!

My dog is evil, especially when he knows I'm the only one at home, means only me can walk him. Well, I guess he's bored. Luckily now he's silent coz some kids experimented with fireworks and it scared him to death. I'm sure he doesn't feel like going out for the next 2 hours. (Yes I'm mean, but he is the one who wants to play games!!)

Me: "Now I went out with you into the blistering cold and you didn't even pee?! Whats the matter with you?"
He:

...how could I resist that look..?!

Fun Stuff

2005-12-29T13:07:00.000+01:00

Your Irish Name Is...

Shauna O'Doherty

What's" your Irish Name?

I adore that name somehow...

Your French Name is:

Élodie Brassard

What's" Your French Name?

Again, glad I'm not french ;)

Shadowman

2005-12-28T21:41:00.000+01:00

Any time tomorrow a part of me will die
And new one will be born
Any time tomorrow I'll get sick of asking why
Sick of all the darkness I have numb

Any time tomorrow I will try to do what's right
Making sense of all I can
And any time tomorrow I'll pretend to see the light ...

[K's Choice - Shadowman]

[Photo: Dec 27]

Footprint

2005-12-27T19:27:00.000+01:00

If you are seeking creative ideas, go out walking. Angels whisper to a man when he goes for a walk.

Raymond Inmon

Seaside

2005-12-27T13:22:00.000+01:00

Camargue, once again ... Max had loads of fun.

Wild Horse

2005-12-26T16:16:00.000+01:00

This one was taken somewhere in Camargue, France. It was quite impressive seeing those wild horses, eventhough just out of the car

[Date: Unknown]

Listen

2005-12-25T19:57:00.000+01:00

[Taken somewhere in Germany, 2004]

I guess I've spent my life listening to what wasn't being said.

My fave pictures for 2005 ...

2005-12-25T11:44:00.000+01:00

Those were taken last january...

[ january '05 // Sony DSC-W1 ]

[July '05 // Sony DSC-W1 ]

I remember it was a quiet depressing day for all the people I was with

Hey there

2005-12-24T16:44:00.000+01:00

As i don't wanna spam my other blog with pictures, i decided to seperate them...